Monday, November 28, 2011

Fighting For My Mom...

LUNG CANCER AWARENESS MONTH IS ALMOST OVER yet not a peep has been said about it. This is my desperate attempt to ask you to join me in the fight for lung cancer research. Please visit my perfume blog for more info on my personal plight or you can donate directly to the LUNGevity Foundation.

My mother's life and thousands of others affected by this awful disease depend on donors like you. Please help me and others join the fight for lung cancer research!

Visit my perfume blog (My Scentiments Exactly!): A Perfumer Fights For Cancer and Brings Hope in a Bottle: Tallulah Jane NYC Hope Eau de Parfum

Or you can donate directly to the LUNGevity Foundation.

Thank you!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Where Have You Been???

Been up to nothing much. Spending as much time with my mother as I can. Her health is declining and it is painful to watch.

On the blogosphere, I've been escaping into perfume and writing about it. My collection of perfumes were just sitting there waiting to be sniffed so I decided to write reviews and post them on the internet. I've discovered that I love exploring the smelly side of life and it is helping me hone and improve my creative writing skills.

Check it out if you are interested in perfumes or smelly things for that matter. I would love to gather with like-minds.

My Scentiments Exactly!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Feeling Abandoned

My mother is currently not under treatment for her lung cancer because of a bad side effect with her chemotherapy. She has been in and out of hospital the month of September. She is on a break until she starts a new regimen. Everyone in my family is on edge and frightened what the next step is.

Anyways, I just logged on facebook and read all about how my friends have been hanging out together and having a great time. I feel sad. They know my situation with my mother. The last time I talked to them was when my mom was diagnosed. I haven't heard a peep from them since, despite my several attempts to reach out. I guess they don't want to be bummed.

I feel abandoned and lonely and disappointed my friends would react this way. I was there for them and supported them when they were in need. People say it's not their fault, they are just uncomfortable and don't know what to say. That it's not their fault that they are living their lives and most of them probably can't even comprehend losing a parent. But is that really a friend?

I have been friends with them since grammar school and I am shocked that they would react this way. I don't know if I can ever forgive and forget. At the moment, I just want to sever ties.

I'm lonely and I have no friends. My mother has stage IV lung cancer. My husband is 5K miles away when I need his support more than ever and I won't see him for 10 months because that's how long the visa approval takes.

Life is shit right now.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Our Wedding in a Nutshell

Our wedding was small, only 40 people. It was at a quaint, charming victorian house built in 1890, a bed and breakfast in Benicia. We got married in the garden. Our reception was on the premisis. We didn't have to decorate much since the place was beautiful already. The ceremony was 30 minutes. We did a handfasting. Since Craig is Ulster Scots, we incorporated this tradition into the ceremony. My mother tied chords of the color of the Philippine flag and Craig's mom tied the colors of the McKay family tartan around our hands while my Maid of Honor recited this blessing:

“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and as in today, tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”

We didn't have a traditional reception. No first dance, speeches, cheezy music, or doing the conga. Although we did hire an acoustic guitarist playing classical music in the ceremony (I marched down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D) ; brazilian music and flamenco music during the reception. We just hung out together with family and friends like it was Thanksgiving. Food was cooked by the chef in the small kitchen and served buffet style 2 types of salads, sauteed green beans, garlic mashed potatoes, poached salmon, and prime rib. It was lovely and delicious. The cake was simple and elegant. It was round two tier with scottish heather piping and fresh florals of all shades of purple, white, and green on top. The flavor was an Irish cream cake, a white cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Mint-Milk Chocolate Mousse filling. The cake was delicious, moist and not sickenly sweet. Everyone took an extra piece home with them.

At the closing of the reception, my aunt arranged a traditional hula dancer and her husband singing and accompanying on the ukele. They came all the way from Hawaii. The dance and song piece was about a man and woman in a long distance relationship. After a long time separated from each other by the sea, they were reunited again.

Craig and I were pleased how our wedding turned out with only 2 weeks of planning. This is exactly the way we wanted it. Lowkey and no fanfare. Our day was perfect and we were so happy to share this special day with our family and friends.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

It's My Mom's Birthday

I wished her happy birthday this morning. She's 79. I asked her what she wanted to do today and she said she just wants to stay in bed and watch tv. I think she is depressed because she is thinking this may be her last.

I don't know how to make this day pleasant for her, at least have her enjoy her day and have her forget about her cancer for once. She doesn't want to do anything.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!