"Are You Going to the Boney?"

Hundreds of Protestants and a few gutsy Catholics disguised as Proddies (you can always spot a Catholic in the crowd wearing the most red white and blue out of everyone: rangers shirts, union jack hat, union jack underwear) are at "Boney Night". Tonight is the Bonfire, a Protestant ritual before the Orange March tomorrow. All throughout the city there are bonfires lit up the size of sky scrapers topped with the Irish Republic flag or the dummy of the pope. It kind of reminds me of the Klu Klux Klan and their cross burning. I can already smell heavy smoke in the air and the blue sky has turned a dark gray. I can hear fireworks in the far distance, either that or they're shooting each other! Hehe.

The closest I will ever get to a bonfire -- inside a speeding car at 50mph.

Why am I not at "Boney Night", ya say? For one, I am held captive by "Hop-Along Cassidy" here. Second, even if he didn't have a broken leg he wouldn't take me to a bonfire because they are too violent. There are a lot of drunk people and people getting the shit kicked out of them. The bonfires are all in working classes areas, and this is when every Chav and Chavette crawl out of the woodwork. I asked Craig in my naivete and wide-eyed innocence, "Do they roast marshmallows and sing 'Kumbaya' with their arms wrapped around each other?" His answer, "Uh, no. They don't roast marshmallows they probably sing anti-catholic songs and sectarian chants." He turns his head to the tv again and becomes mesmerized by Karen Carpenter singing "It's Only Just Begun". He suddenly bursts out, "Look! There's a guy on crutches in the Carpenters! What is this crutch week?". Craig is too busy thinking about crutches rather than the Bonfire apparently. I don't blame him. There's nothing like rounding off an evening polluting the air with some casual violence and rioting.