Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Feeling Abandoned

My mother is currently not under treatment for her lung cancer because of a bad side effect with her chemotherapy. She has been in and out of hospital the month of September. She is on a break until she starts a new regimen. Everyone in my family is on edge and frightened what the next step is.

Anyways, I just logged on facebook and read all about how my friends have been hanging out together and having a great time. I feel sad. They know my situation with my mother. The last time I talked to them was when my mom was diagnosed. I haven't heard a peep from them since, despite my several attempts to reach out. I guess they don't want to be bummed.

I feel abandoned and lonely and disappointed my friends would react this way. I was there for them and supported them when they were in need. People say it's not their fault, they are just uncomfortable and don't know what to say. That it's not their fault that they are living their lives and most of them probably can't even comprehend losing a parent. But is that really a friend?

I have been friends with them since grammar school and I am shocked that they would react this way. I don't know if I can ever forgive and forget. At the moment, I just want to sever ties.

I'm lonely and I have no friends. My mother has stage IV lung cancer. My husband is 5K miles away when I need his support more than ever and I won't see him for 10 months because that's how long the visa approval takes.

Life is shit right now.