It's Not You, It's Me.

Dear Belfast,

I'm terribly sorry I had to do this through a letter, this is not easy for me at all, honestly. This note will be the last memory you'll ever have of me, I'm bouncing and not looking back.

Don't let it get you all upset inside, San Francisco has and will always be my first love. It is because of your history of problems that keep me from being even remotely interested in continuing this relationship with you.

You'd be much better off finding a person that can deal with your gloomy weather, small-mindedness, intolerance and lack of diversity. I might miss certain things about you such as your green hills, your beautiful countryside, and free healthcare. But what I will really miss the most are your people that I befriended and grew to love. Please take care of them and give them as much sunshine as possible.

I'm so glad this is done and we're going separate directions for good. I hope you will find someone who can appreciate you more than I have.

Peace,
Flippin' Yank

Bye Bye Belfast. Bye Bye.

In June, I was counting the months. In August, I was counting the weeks. Now I am just counting the hours. I have an early flight tomorrow and I am really not looking forward to leaving. I've said this many times before, but really there's a hollowness I feel thinking about leaving Craig. I'm not going to say anything profound tonight. Maybe later when I get back home and collect myself.

My stay in Belfast had its ups and downs. It felt like more downs than ups. And I wouldn't say that Belfast is the best place on earth, but getting to know the people is that makes this place worthwhile. And when I mean people, I mean Craig's family. They would bend over backwards for you, would give the shirt off their backs in time of need. His mom, there are no words for her to justify the kind of person she is. She's just awesome and I'm so glad that she will be my mother-in-law.

And I'm so glad that what I came to do was accomplished. I got the man of my dreams!

All Packed Up and Somewhere to Go...

Our wee little flat is empty. The olds came and picked up our stuff we've accumulated the past 4 months. I can't believe how much crap we had! Breaking down the flat and packing it into boxes hurt a bit. It felt like we were erasing the life Craig and I started to build. We did laundry yesterday and I packed all my luggage with Craig's help. Neither of us said anything to each other last night. I guess if we admitted our feelings, it would be too much for both of us to bear.

We have no more t.v. so I played with the video feature of my camera and coerced Craig to sing a song....

Got Meds?

In Less Than Two Weeks, I will be on a plane back home to America. Land of free. Home of the Brave and Work like a slave to afford expensive healthcare.

Today, I had the all too familiar field trip to the NHS. I was running out of my prescription medication. I don't have enough to cover me before I left so Craig called his doctor earlier this week to make me an appointment. I checked in with the receptionist, she asked me if I was a permanent or temporary resident. I said that I am just visiting on a tourist visa. She told me to write down my name, address, date of birth, and doctor. I sat down and waited for my name to be flashed on the digital screen.

"....Flippinyank please report to Surgery 3...."

SURGERY?!?!? I find it interesting that they call doctor's offices surgeries here. It is sinister and freaks me out to no end. I feel like once I step into the exam room, I am going to be sliced open. So I report to surgery 3 and there was the doctor sitting at his desk. It didn't look clinical at all, but it looked like an old 1950's exam room where the doctor's office and exam table were self contained and it had those dividers. He greeted me and I explained to him the situation. He asked if I was under the NHS and I said no, but I consulted with the pharmacist and she said that I can have a doctor here write a private prescription. He examined the info on the bottle and wrote me a prescription. Off to the pharmacy I went. Which was across the hall.

I got it filled and the pharmacist was like it's three fifty since this is a private prescription. I was like £350?!?!?! No, he said, £3.50. Oh (phew!). Like the dork I am, I didn't have cash on hand. "Do you take visa?", I asked. He said, "No, we don't have a credit card machine. But there's a cash point at the garage across the street." So I ran and almost got ran over. I come back with the money breathless and sweaty. He says, "Sorry about that, we're not really technologically advanced."

I called me dad and said we're in the clear. I got the meds from Craig's doctor and it costed an equivalent of a whopping $7.00!!! There was silence at the other end of the phone. I could have sworn I heard a loud thump as if the phone hit the floor. My dad was astonished. He was like you might as well not come back. Since I quit my employer, and my insurance lapsed. My dad said he'd foot the bill if I couldn' t afford it, and he would send it to me. He found out without insurance, just one bottle would cost $400! Mind you, I got a private prescription and I am not under NHS. And it only cost $7.00. And the doctor gave me 2 months worth! Something is wrong here!

I am certainly not looking forward to coming back and dealing with this insurance crap. I'd have to find loopholes around getting health insurance since I have a pre-existing condition. Does this mean that I am going to have to look for yet another soul sucking office job so I won't die? This is the reason why I quit my job in the first place, to go back to school, get a higher degree, and finally pursue what I set out to do.. But...but...I'm not being a responsible citizen. Why don't have I have health insurance now? Why did I let it lapse. Oh, I don 't know. Maybe I can't afford $1,000 a month on COBRA. Also for me to have to choose between being with the man I love and living my life for me -- or being trapped in what felt like a coffin of a cubicle and watching my life slip before me to sacrifice myself as a productive American citizen (blackmailed into being a cog in the machine) JUST to keep my health insurance! Call me irresponsible, but sometimes you have to follow your heart. I'm sure if I'm ever at my deathbed and think about on my experience here and have no regrets at all. I took the chance, and did what made me happy.

Needless to say, I am not looking forward to going home thinking about all the crap I have to deal with. I have just one reason to come back home and that is...


My Maggie!

She is probably counting the days, minutes, and seconds for when I walk through that door and give her a great big hug. It is love, Yes!