Bit By the Zumba Bug!

Our Wedding in a Nutshell

Our wedding was small, only 40 people. It was at a quaint, charming victorian house built in 1890, a bed and breakfast in Benicia. We got married in the garden. Our reception was on the premisis. We didn't have to decorate much since the place was beautiful already. The ceremony was 30 minutes. We did a handfasting. Since Craig is Ulster Scots, we incorporated this tradition into the ceremony. My mother tied chords of the color of the Philippine flag and Craig's mom tied the colors of the McKay family tartan around our hands while my Maid of Honor recited this blessing:


“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.


These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.


These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.


These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.


These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and as in today, tears of joy.


These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.


These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.


And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”


We didn't have a traditional reception. No first dance, speeches, cheezy music, or doing the conga. Although we did hire an acoustic guitarist playing classical music in the ceremony (I marched down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D) ; brazilian music and flamenco music during the reception. We just hung out together with family and friends like it was Thanksgiving. Food was cooked by the chef in the small kitchen and served buffet style 2 types of salads, sauteed green beans, garlic mashed potatoes, poached salmon, and prime rib. It was lovely and delicious. The cake was simple and elegant. It was round two tier with scottish heather piping and fresh florals of all shades of purple, white, and green on top. The flavor was an Irish cream cake, a white cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Mint-Milk Chocolate Mousse filling. The cake was delicious, moist and not sickenly sweet. Everyone took an extra piece home with them.

At the closing of the reception, my aunt arranged a traditional hula dancer and her husband singing and accompanying on the ukele. They came all the way from Hawaii. The dance and song piece was about a man and woman in a long distance relationship. After a long time separated from each other by the sea, they were reunited again.


Craig and I were pleased how our wedding turned out with only 2 weeks of planning. This is exactly the way we wanted it. Lowkey and no fanfare. Our day was perfect and we were so happy to share this special day with our family and friends.

It's My Mom's Birthday

I wished her happy birthday this morning. She's 79. I asked her what she wanted to do today and she said she just wants to stay in bed and watch tv. I think she is depressed because she is thinking this may be her last.

I don't know how to make this day pleasant for her, at least have her enjoy her day and have her forget about her cancer for once. She doesn't want to do anything.

Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!

Good News Today!

My mom had her follow up MRI and the result show no new brain tumors. The brain tumors she had 3 months ago have shrunk. Her CT Scan shows tumor shrinkage in her lungs.

Oncologist will continue her chemo at a lower dose.

Happy, happy days!

My Mother Has Lung Cancer

The reason for my lack of posts. Been debating since April to post about my mother's diagnosis. She has Stage IV lung cancer. At first I was shocked and devastated. We didn't see it coming, it was like being hit with a mac truck. She never smoked in her entire life. She took good care of herself. Ate healthy, went to the gym. It was hard to comprehend and I was constantly asking the question, "Why her?".

So basically, if you have lungs, you can get lung cancer. And I hate the barrage of questions that people ask one of them being, "Did she smoke?". As if she deserved what was coming to her.

I am trying to be hopeful but reading the statistics don't help. In April, the doctor said without treatment she has 6 months to live, with treatment 14 months. I quit my job, I dropped out of school to spend the remaining time with my mother and to help her fight for her life. In a panic, I moved up my wedding from July 2012 to May 2011. I planned my wedding in 2 weeks. And I didn't care about matching napkins, or centerpieces, even my dress! I just wanted my mom to be there. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of your life marrying your best friend, but I wasn't the blissful bride knowing that this may be my last major life event my mom will attend. It was a bittersweet day but I'm glad my mom was well enough to participate and the look on her face while I was walking down the aisle was priceless. I'm glad I was able to give this gift to her. But the day was emotionally confusing for me.

She was in the hospital last week. It scared us. And the question in the back of my mind, will she come home? Luckily, she pulled through and did come home. We learned that her chemo is working and there is no progression of her cancer, just stable, no change. On the downside, the chemo is damaging her organs.

This is the thing about cancer. You are filled with uncertainty and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

Cancer sucks. It has terrorized my family. My carefree, innocent days are over. I get to witness my mom in pain and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I never thought it was humanly possible to produce so many tears. My life has changed forever.

Identity Crisis

Ulsterman in California: The Official Trailer!