Friday, February 5, 2010


I missed school today. I didn't sleep at all last night and have had this problem for two weeks. Everything is hitting me at once for some reason. I don't know why.I feel so overwhelmed with school and thinking about the future, and the long road of school, and the visa process which I haven't even begun yet because I'm still in SCHOOL and I NEED A JOB but how am I going to finish SCHOOL on schedule if I am WORKING FULLTIME because I need a steady paycheck so I can sign the affidavit of support. And how am I going to put in my VOLUNTEER HOURS AT THE HOSPITAL to get into PHARMACY SCHOOL if I'm WORKING FULLTIME. And how am I going to get a HIGH GPA and get into PHARMACY SCHOOL if I am WORKING FULLTIME?!?!?! Blah, blah, blah....This is the chatter in my head that keeps me awake.

When I am overwhelmed, I want to hide from the world. I want to stay in bed with the covers over my head hoping I could disappear. But this just makes it worse.

This is my second week of school and I'm already starting to burn out. I have a shitload of chapters from 5 books to read. I have to read The Wall Street Journal every day from front to back. I have to do a dietary assessment every day. It seems like the hours and hours and hours I spend studying, I feel like I'm never caught up. I'm about to go postal. And missing class today isn't helping my situation.

So, when things get really tough. I always call HopAlong. He always makes everything alright. He sang me a few songs to exorcise the "crazy chatter" out of my head. This is why I picked him.

And to end with another high note, I just came back from Zumba class tonight and discovered that my stamina has gotten better. I also danced like nobody's business. For the first time in a very long time, I felt like a dancer. Good 4 Me.

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