LUNG CANCER AWARENESS MONTH IS ALMOST OVER yet not a peep has been said about it. This is my desperate attempt to ask you to join me in the fight for lung cancer research. Please visit my perfume blog for more info on my personal plight or you can donate directly to the LUNGevity Foundation.
My mother's life and thousands of others affected by this awful disease depend on donors like you. Please help me and others join the fight for lung cancer research!
Visit my perfume blog (My Scentiments Exactly!): A Perfumer Fights For Cancer and Brings Hope in a Bottle: Tallulah Jane NYC Hope Eau de Parfum
Or you can donate directly to the LUNGevity Foundation.
Thank you!
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Where Have You Been???
Been up to nothing much. Spending as much time with my mother as I can. Her health is declining and it is painful to watch.
On the blogosphere, I've been escaping into perfume and writing about it. My collection of perfumes were just sitting there waiting to be sniffed so I decided to write reviews and post them on the internet. I've discovered that I love exploring the smelly side of life and it is helping me hone and improve my creative writing skills.
Check it out if you are interested in perfumes or smelly things for that matter. I would love to gather with like-minds.
My Scentiments Exactly! http://olfactoryobsessed.wordpress.com
On the blogosphere, I've been escaping into perfume and writing about it. My collection of perfumes were just sitting there waiting to be sniffed so I decided to write reviews and post them on the internet. I've discovered that I love exploring the smelly side of life and it is helping me hone and improve my creative writing skills.
Check it out if you are interested in perfumes or smelly things for that matter. I would love to gather with like-minds.
My Scentiments Exactly! http://olfactoryobsessed.wordpress.com
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Feeling Abandoned
My mother is currently not under treatment for her lung cancer because of a bad side effect with her chemotherapy. She has been in and out of hospital the month of September. She is on a break until she starts a new regimen. Everyone in my family is on edge and frightened what the next step is.
Anyways, I just logged on facebook and read all about how my friends have been hanging out together and having a great time. I feel sad. They know my situation with my mother. The last time I talked to them was when my mom was diagnosed. I haven't heard a peep from them since, despite my several attempts to reach out. I guess they don't want to be bummed.
I feel abandoned and lonely and disappointed my friends would react this way. I was there for them and supported them when they were in need. People say it's not their fault, they are just uncomfortable and don't know what to say. That it's not their fault that they are living their lives and most of them probably can't even comprehend losing a parent. But is that really a friend?
I have been friends with them since grammar school and I am shocked that they would react this way. I don't know if I can ever forgive and forget. At the moment, I just want to sever ties.
I'm lonely and I have no friends. My mother has stage IV lung cancer. My husband is 5K miles away when I need his support more than ever and I won't see him for 10 months because that's how long the visa approval takes.
Life is shit right now.
Anyways, I just logged on facebook and read all about how my friends have been hanging out together and having a great time. I feel sad. They know my situation with my mother. The last time I talked to them was when my mom was diagnosed. I haven't heard a peep from them since, despite my several attempts to reach out. I guess they don't want to be bummed.
I feel abandoned and lonely and disappointed my friends would react this way. I was there for them and supported them when they were in need. People say it's not their fault, they are just uncomfortable and don't know what to say. That it's not their fault that they are living their lives and most of them probably can't even comprehend losing a parent. But is that really a friend?
I have been friends with them since grammar school and I am shocked that they would react this way. I don't know if I can ever forgive and forget. At the moment, I just want to sever ties.
I'm lonely and I have no friends. My mother has stage IV lung cancer. My husband is 5K miles away when I need his support more than ever and I won't see him for 10 months because that's how long the visa approval takes.
Life is shit right now.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Our Wedding in a Nutshell
Our wedding was small, only 40 people. It was at a quaint, charming victorian house built in 1890, a bed and breakfast in Benicia. We got married in the garden. Our reception was on the premisis. We didn't have to decorate much since the place was beautiful already. The ceremony was 30 minutes. We did a handfasting. Since Craig is Ulster Scots, we incorporated this tradition into the ceremony. My mother tied chords of the color of the Philippine flag and Craig's mom tied the colors of the McKay family tartan around our hands while my Maid of Honor recited this blessing:
“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and as in today, tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”
We didn't have a traditional reception. No first dance, speeches, cheezy music, or doing the conga. Although we did hire an acoustic guitarist playing classical music in the ceremony (I marched down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D) ; brazilian music and flamenco music during the reception. We just hung out together with family and friends like it was Thanksgiving. Food was cooked by the chef in the small kitchen and served buffet style 2 types of salads, sauteed green beans, garlic mashed potatoes, poached salmon, and prime rib. It was lovely and delicious. The cake was simple and elegant. It was round two tier with scottish heather piping and fresh florals of all shades of purple, white, and green on top. The flavor was an Irish cream cake, a white cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Mint-Milk Chocolate Mousse filling. The cake was delicious, moist and not sickenly sweet. Everyone took an extra piece home with them.
At the closing of the reception, my aunt arranged a traditional hula dancer and her husband singing and accompanying on the ukele. They came all the way from Hawaii. The dance and song piece was about a man and woman in a long distance relationship. After a long time separated from each other by the sea, they were reunited again.
Craig and I were pleased how our wedding turned out with only 2 weeks of planning. This is exactly the way we wanted it. Lowkey and no fanfare. Our day was perfect and we were so happy to share this special day with our family and friends.
“These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and as in today, tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”
We didn't have a traditional reception. No first dance, speeches, cheezy music, or doing the conga. Although we did hire an acoustic guitarist playing classical music in the ceremony (I marched down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D) ; brazilian music and flamenco music during the reception. We just hung out together with family and friends like it was Thanksgiving. Food was cooked by the chef in the small kitchen and served buffet style 2 types of salads, sauteed green beans, garlic mashed potatoes, poached salmon, and prime rib. It was lovely and delicious. The cake was simple and elegant. It was round two tier with scottish heather piping and fresh florals of all shades of purple, white, and green on top. The flavor was an Irish cream cake, a white cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream and Mint-Milk Chocolate Mousse filling. The cake was delicious, moist and not sickenly sweet. Everyone took an extra piece home with them.
At the closing of the reception, my aunt arranged a traditional hula dancer and her husband singing and accompanying on the ukele. They came all the way from Hawaii. The dance and song piece was about a man and woman in a long distance relationship. After a long time separated from each other by the sea, they were reunited again.
Craig and I were pleased how our wedding turned out with only 2 weeks of planning. This is exactly the way we wanted it. Lowkey and no fanfare. Our day was perfect and we were so happy to share this special day with our family and friends.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
It's My Mom's Birthday
I wished her happy birthday this morning. She's 79. I asked her what she wanted to do today and she said she just wants to stay in bed and watch tv. I think she is depressed because she is thinking this may be her last.
I don't know how to make this day pleasant for her, at least have her enjoy her day and have her forget about her cancer for once. She doesn't want to do anything.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!
I don't know how to make this day pleasant for her, at least have her enjoy her day and have her forget about her cancer for once. She doesn't want to do anything.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Good News Today!
My mom had her follow up MRI and the result show no new brain tumors. The brain tumors she had 3 months ago have shrunk. Her CT Scan shows tumor shrinkage in her lungs.
Oncologist will continue her chemo at a lower dose.
Happy, happy days!
Oncologist will continue her chemo at a lower dose.
Happy, happy days!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
My Mother Has Lung Cancer
The reason for my lack of posts. Been debating since April to post about my mother's diagnosis. She has Stage IV lung cancer. At first I was shocked and devastated. We didn't see it coming, it was like being hit with a mac truck. She never smoked in her entire life. She took good care of herself. Ate healthy, went to the gym. It was hard to comprehend and I was constantly asking the question, "Why her?".
So basically, if you have lungs, you can get lung cancer. And I hate the barrage of questions that people ask one of them being, "Did she smoke?". As if she deserved what was coming to her.
I am trying to be hopeful but reading the statistics don't help. In April, the doctor said without treatment she has 6 months to live, with treatment 14 months. I quit my job, I dropped out of school to spend the remaining time with my mother and to help her fight for her life. In a panic, I moved up my wedding from July 2012 to May 2011. I planned my wedding in 2 weeks. And I didn't care about matching napkins, or centerpieces, even my dress! I just wanted my mom to be there. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of your life marrying your best friend, but I wasn't the blissful bride knowing that this may be my last major life event my mom will attend. It was a bittersweet day but I'm glad my mom was well enough to participate and the look on her face while I was walking down the aisle was priceless. I'm glad I was able to give this gift to her. But the day was emotionally confusing for me.
She was in the hospital last week. It scared us. And the question in the back of my mind, will she come home? Luckily, she pulled through and did come home. We learned that her chemo is working and there is no progression of her cancer, just stable, no change. On the downside, the chemo is damaging her organs.
This is the thing about cancer. You are filled with uncertainty and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope for the best, expect the worst.
Cancer sucks. It has terrorized my family. My carefree, innocent days are over. I get to witness my mom in pain and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I never thought it was humanly possible to produce so many tears. My life has changed forever.
So basically, if you have lungs, you can get lung cancer. And I hate the barrage of questions that people ask one of them being, "Did she smoke?". As if she deserved what was coming to her.
I am trying to be hopeful but reading the statistics don't help. In April, the doctor said without treatment she has 6 months to live, with treatment 14 months. I quit my job, I dropped out of school to spend the remaining time with my mother and to help her fight for her life. In a panic, I moved up my wedding from July 2012 to May 2011. I planned my wedding in 2 weeks. And I didn't care about matching napkins, or centerpieces, even my dress! I just wanted my mom to be there. Weddings are supposed to be the happiest day of your life marrying your best friend, but I wasn't the blissful bride knowing that this may be my last major life event my mom will attend. It was a bittersweet day but I'm glad my mom was well enough to participate and the look on her face while I was walking down the aisle was priceless. I'm glad I was able to give this gift to her. But the day was emotionally confusing for me.
She was in the hospital last week. It scared us. And the question in the back of my mind, will she come home? Luckily, she pulled through and did come home. We learned that her chemo is working and there is no progression of her cancer, just stable, no change. On the downside, the chemo is damaging her organs.
This is the thing about cancer. You are filled with uncertainty and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope for the best, expect the worst.
Cancer sucks. It has terrorized my family. My carefree, innocent days are over. I get to witness my mom in pain and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I never thought it was humanly possible to produce so many tears. My life has changed forever.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wedding Video Message
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
True Love
Craig and I went camping in the California Redwoods last summer. I had really bad diarrhea that whole weekend. I'd have pooh attacks around 2am, sometimes twice in the middle of the night.
I kept waking him up to go to the bathroom with me because I was scared to go alone in the dark and afraid of the bears. He would wakeup without any complaints and wait for me outside the bathroom. He just thinks it was funny.
Definitely a sign he loves me a lot. He's a keeper.
This is not the California that you envision when someone says 'California'
I kept waking him up to go to the bathroom with me because I was scared to go alone in the dark and afraid of the bears. He would wakeup without any complaints and wait for me outside the bathroom. He just thinks it was funny.
Definitely a sign he loves me a lot. He's a keeper.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Yay or Nay: Maple Bacon Sundae
Thursday, March 24, 2011
This a Food Version of the Irish Car Bomb
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Asians Need to Learn to Be Polite And Have Some Manners
Alexandra Wallace, a caucasian UCLA student had filmed a youtube clip ranting about Asians who use their cellphones in the library. As a UCLA alum and an Asian, I find this hilarious and entertaining that such ignorance is on blatant display. The clip went viral garnering hundreds of youtube video responses and parodies. It eventually made its way to the Chancellor and he is not happy.
She went on to make derogatory remarks about Asian culture saying, "The Asians students can't fend for themselves because they bring their whole family to the dorms to cook, buy their groceries, and do their laundry for them. She says there are old Asian people running around the place on the weekends." LMAO!
She also goes on to say that UCLA accepts hoards of Asians to "our" school which is fine but they need to learn American manners and how to be polite. LOL
WTF?
Anyways the youtube clip became viral and now she's received all these death threats and is under security by campus police, professors had to reschedule her final exams because her exam schedule was posted on the internet.
The Chancellor is reviewing the video on whether she has violated the student rule of conduct and is cause for expulsion.
How the hell did this airhead get into UCLA?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7XAJo3rQn8
And here's a brilliant rebuttal from a Korean guy. I couldn't stop laughing...
She went on to make derogatory remarks about Asian culture saying, "The Asians students can't fend for themselves because they bring their whole family to the dorms to cook, buy their groceries, and do their laundry for them. She says there are old Asian people running around the place on the weekends." LMAO!
She also goes on to say that UCLA accepts hoards of Asians to "our" school which is fine but they need to learn American manners and how to be polite. LOL
WTF?
Anyways the youtube clip became viral and now she's received all these death threats and is under security by campus police, professors had to reschedule her final exams because her exam schedule was posted on the internet.
The Chancellor is reviewing the video on whether she has violated the student rule of conduct and is cause for expulsion.
How the hell did this airhead get into UCLA?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7XAJo3rQn8
And here's a brilliant rebuttal from a Korean guy. I couldn't stop laughing...
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tsunami Watch in California
Due to the after affects of the devastating 8.9 earthquake in Japan. The U.S. west coast is on wave watch.
Some evacuations in San Mateo and Pacifica. Some schools are closed in Pacifica and Marin. People told to stay away from the coastline.
Ferry service to San Francisco is cancelled. I'm waiting for BART to announce they will shutdown subway service. If I can't get on BART, I can't go to work/school. :/
Some evacuations in San Mateo and Pacifica. Some schools are closed in Pacifica and Marin. People told to stay away from the coastline.
Ferry service to San Francisco is cancelled. I'm waiting for BART to announce they will shutdown subway service. If I can't get on BART, I can't go to work/school. :/
Monday, February 21, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
To My Best Friend On Valentine's Day
“May you never steal, lie or cheat. But if you have to steal, then steal away my sorrows. If you have to lie, then lie with me all the nights of our life. If you have to cheat, then cheat death because I don’t want to live a day without you.”
I love you, Craig! And I can't wait for the day I become your wife!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My Crazy Ass Schedule.
It's no surprise I woke up with a 101 fever this morning. I feel torn about calling in sick at work (it's only my third week) and I'm seriously debating whether to go to class today.
Ever since the semester started, I have been running my body ragged. My immune system is shot with the lack of sleep. I have a crazy ass schedule and I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do anything. Even the basic necessities like brushing my teeth and eating is measured in increments. Here is my day, 5 days a week:
4:35 AM - Wake up and get ready
6:05 AM - Stand in line at the bus stop and freeze my ass off
6:29 AM - Run frantically through the BART station to catch the San Francisco Train.
6:35 to 7:35 AM - Study and do homework on the train
7:35 AM - Drag my heavy backpack up 3 large hills from the BART station to School
7:45 AM - Report for work and I am the first to arrive at the office
7:50 AM - Proceed to do various tasks assigned to me.
12:00 PM - Eat lunch at my desk and study
1:00 PM to 2:00PM - Head to the building next door where my first class is and sit in the hallway and do homework.
2:10 PM - My first math class
3:10 PM - My second math class
4:00 PM - Run across campus to the tram stop
4:20 PM - Catch the K tram to head to the gym
4:45 PM - Change into workout clothes
5:00 to 5:30 PM - Eat a light snack while studying lecture notes
5:30 PM - Yoga
6:30 PM - Zumba
7:30 PM - Change out of workout clothes
7:45 PM - Run to the tram stop to catch the train
8:05 PM- Run to catch the BART train
8:10 to 8:59 PM - Study and do homework
9:15 PM - Catch the bus
9:35 PM - Get picked up by Dad
9:50 PM - Home
10:00 PM - Prepare lunch for next day
10:20 PM - Eat dinner and watch t.v.
10:45 PM - Shower
11:00 PM - Email HopAlong and tell him I love him
11:02 PM to 12:00 AM - Study
12:00 AM - Sleep
See what I mean?
Ever since the semester started, I have been running my body ragged. My immune system is shot with the lack of sleep. I have a crazy ass schedule and I feel like there isn't enough time in the day to do anything. Even the basic necessities like brushing my teeth and eating is measured in increments. Here is my day, 5 days a week:
4:35 AM - Wake up and get ready
6:05 AM - Stand in line at the bus stop and freeze my ass off
6:29 AM - Run frantically through the BART station to catch the San Francisco Train.
6:35 to 7:35 AM - Study and do homework on the train
7:35 AM - Drag my heavy backpack up 3 large hills from the BART station to School
7:45 AM - Report for work and I am the first to arrive at the office
7:50 AM - Proceed to do various tasks assigned to me.
12:00 PM - Eat lunch at my desk and study
1:00 PM to 2:00PM - Head to the building next door where my first class is and sit in the hallway and do homework.
2:10 PM - My first math class
3:10 PM - My second math class
4:00 PM - Run across campus to the tram stop
4:20 PM - Catch the K tram to head to the gym
4:45 PM - Change into workout clothes
5:00 to 5:30 PM - Eat a light snack while studying lecture notes
5:30 PM - Yoga
6:30 PM - Zumba
7:30 PM - Change out of workout clothes
7:45 PM - Run to the tram stop to catch the train
8:05 PM- Run to catch the BART train
8:10 to 8:59 PM - Study and do homework
9:15 PM - Catch the bus
9:35 PM - Get picked up by Dad
9:50 PM - Home
10:00 PM - Prepare lunch for next day
10:20 PM - Eat dinner and watch t.v.
10:45 PM - Shower
11:00 PM - Email HopAlong and tell him I love him
11:02 PM to 12:00 AM - Study
12:00 AM - Sleep
See what I mean?
Friday, January 14, 2011
My Take on A United Ireland...
I'm probably going to get a lot of heat about this and I'm only going to say this once and once only because this subject frankly bores me to tears! This was my response to the recent CNN article, "Irish police arrest 5 suspected IRA dissidents, release 1":
A "United Ireland" is never going to happen. The Republic of Ireland is in a financial quagmire, gone are the days of the Celtic Tiger. And guess who is bailing them out, the United Kingdom! Think about it. If the 6 counties of Ulster ever rejoin the South, how is the Republic going to support 1.8m people? I doubt that the Northern Irish want to join a near bankrupt country. Polls have shown, Norn Irish Catholic and Protestants alike, a large majority want to remain in the United Kingdom. I don't blame them since the UK has a stronger economy! In the end, they are thinking about their own welfare and their families, not some pipedream united republic.
A United Ireland...nice in theory, shit in reality!
A "United Ireland" is never going to happen. The Republic of Ireland is in a financial quagmire, gone are the days of the Celtic Tiger. And guess who is bailing them out, the United Kingdom! Think about it. If the 6 counties of Ulster ever rejoin the South, how is the Republic going to support 1.8m people? I doubt that the Northern Irish want to join a near bankrupt country. Polls have shown, Norn Irish Catholic and Protestants alike, a large majority want to remain in the United Kingdom. I don't blame them since the UK has a stronger economy! In the end, they are thinking about their own welfare and their families, not some pipedream united republic.
A United Ireland...nice in theory, shit in reality!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I GOT A J.O.B.!!!!
It's part time work on campus working for the Dean. Part time is all I can handle with 15 units this semester. 2 math classes, Chemistry, and C++...dog help me!
The people I'll be working for are nice and laid back. They even encourage me to study if there is downtime.
Now I can cross off GET A JOB off my 2011 list.
The people I'll be working for are nice and laid back. They even encourage me to study if there is downtime.
Now I can cross off GET A JOB off my 2011 list.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
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